New Words (Part One)

What's the role of allies?

By "allies," I'm talking about those people who align themselves with a movement, and become advocates for an oppressed people other than themselves. It could be people who, while they are not members of the oppressed minority, have a strong stake in the movement. A parent of an autistic child, or a gay child, for instance wants to see their child reach their full potential, and be happy. Or maybe an ally is just someone who is sympathetic to the cause, but not directly affected by the movement. (Of course, all of us are indirectly affected by human rights movements.)

A distinction should be made between true allies and false allies. I would characterize anyone who wants to cure autistics of their autism, or cure homosexuals of their homosexuality, as not being a true ally, because such an attitude is in fact oppressive, but especially because it's not what we want for ourselves.

We have a right to inclusion and acceptance as we are now, not just to the degree which we're able to change or override our inborn and morally neutral traits.

While it's recognized that some individuals may want to change their inborn traits and, in theory, such can be a legitimate choice not imposed by society, or influenced externally, our collective voice proclaims loudly that we shouldn't need to be anything other than who we are, as we each define it.

It should be obvious that true allies need to take their cues from those of us who speak on behalf of ourselves.

Not just obvious. It should be axiomatic.

The gay rights movement is older than the autistic rights movement; the role of allies is better defined within the context of gay rights than within autistic rights. In fact, there exists a powerful gay rights advocacy group which is primarily an allies group: PFLAG -- Parents, Friends, and Families of Lesbians and Gays.

Because the role of allies to the autistic rights movement has recently come under question, I thought I would research PFLAG to see what sort of precedent they might have set. Quite interestingly, while I saw clearly expressed, and seemingly comprehensive statements of Vision, Mission, Strategic Goals, and Policy, no mention whatsoever is made of their unique role as allies within the greater GLBT rights movement, as distinct from the role of principals.

I sent an email to PFLAG which read as follows:

I'm wondering if you could direct me to some sort of published comment or statement from PFLAG to the effect of any of the following:

That PFLAG officially takes its cues from the GLBT community.

That PFLAG advocates for what the GLBT community wants, not for what well-meaning straights want for the GLBT community.

That PFLAG's role is as an ally, but not the voice of the GLBT community.

That PFLAG could not know what the GLBT community wants for itself, unless it respectfully listens to the GLBT community.

Is there anything you could refer me to that says something similar to the above statements?

Thanks

In response, I was directed to their website. I then wrote the following:

Thank you very much. I should have prefaced my question by saying that I had already thoroughly searched the website and could not find what I was looking for.

I was looking for some sort of official statement from PFLAG acknowledging that non-GLBT allies are not the voice of the GLBT community, and that in matters of GLBT advocacy, the voice of non-GLBT allies should never take precedence over the voice of GLBT self-advocates.

I am involved in an advocacy group other than GLBT advocacy, and the role of allies has recently come under some discussion. I was looking to PFLAG as a model.

I received the following reply:

We do not have any specific policy statements on this. We work to represent the voice of both allies and family members as well as GLBT people themselves. We are thankful for the role of allies and the voice that they can bring to the GLBT discussion.

If you have any other questions about working with allies, please let me know.

Let me say this now: PFLAG's agenda is wholly supportive of the GLBT community. Their website reads like a rundown of GLBT concerns and issues. Any GLBT person could get behind PFLAG's agenda, and we do.

Coincidentally, it happens to be Gay Pride month, which culminates at the end of the month with the Gay Pride Parade in its birthplace: New York City, (there are celebrations in other cities, as well). I've witnessed many such events, and some of the biggest cheers and loudest applause are reserved for the PFLAG marchers.

We love our true allies.And this is due, in no small part, to the fact that PFLAG does hear the voice of the GLBT community. Despite the fact that they don't explicitly state this. Despite the fact that the concept of how the role of allies differs from the role of principals seems foreign to them. Despite the fact that, when asked about this, they seem not to know what's being talked about.

It's simply a non-issue. And maybe that says something. Maybe it's a given that principals set the agenda for a human-rights movement. Maybe it is axiomatic.

This would certainly explain why non-autistic "advocates," (not true allies), who claim to know what's best for autistics, and who want to set the agenda for autistic advocacy in a different direction from what many autistics want, have repeatedly and vociferously tried to discredit principal autistic advocates by saying that they must not be autistic. It would also explain why it's in the best interest of false allies to claim that "true" autistics cannot advocate for themselves in any capacity, or why false allies act as if adult autistics -- advocates or not -- simply do not exist, and to promote that as a reality through misleading data, systematic exclusion, and other means.

Intrigued, I further emailed PFLAG the following question:

Thank you very much for your reply. I have other questions.

I strongly suspect GLBT principals are actively involved in PFLAG at all levels. Could you verify this?

Are GLBT principals excluded from any PFLAG sponsored activities? For instance, a support group for parents of gay children - are GLBT people absent? (I'm not necessarily talking about active exclusion).

Your time is most appreciated.

I'm awaiting a reply....